Our Captain once ran through a fen

But tripped on his feet and fell in.

While in the green ooze,

He fancied a snooze,

Please contact this chap's next of kin.

*  *  *

While diving to Earth in one bound,

Our Captain tried spinning around.

One complete pirouette

Without using a net;

Before being stopped by the ground.

*  *  *

The cobra's a venomous snake

Who lurks in the sand near a lake.

When resting or sleeping

He often comes creeping,

So when you camp there; stay awake.

Our Captain has made the mistake

Of sleeping on sand near that lake.

At night someone bound him,

But old Jake has found him;

A pity that Jake is a snake.

*  *  *

-A drive with an angel-

Loudly, she yelled: "Look out bisons!"

True, but now they are sliced ones

As the brake hit the floor,

Someone flew out the door-

{screaming}

"Where did you get your damn licence!"

*  *  *

Our Captain was stuck in the sand,

With a thumpin' great rock on his hand

He sighed: "Woe is me,

Is this TNT?"

They buried his parts in a can.

*  *  *

While chased by a Myster'nised goat

Our Captain was thrown in the moat..

With rocks 'round his chest

And sharks at his vest,

I'm afraid that he's not going to float!

*  *  *

Our Captain was caught in a press,

Which caused the small space to grow less.

As the great spikes drew near,

He said without fear:

"They no doubt shall make quite a mess."

*  *  *

Our Captain walked into the room

With a sense of foreboding doom;

When several large crates

Containing lead weights,

Crashed down on his head with a boom!

*  *  *

The colonel one day for a prank,

Was driving to work in a tank.

And thanks to sheer luck,

As the gears went amuck,

Our Captain was there on the bank.

*  *  *

A man in a costume of red,

Was leaping for joy in a shed;

A fire then ensued

Which blackened his mood,

And singed all the hair on his head.